Tsoukalos looks like a bloke who mugged a sunbed and then tried to stab the power socket with a butter knife. Needless to say, he came off second best. However, Giorgio is the kind of schmuck who would claim sunbeds were invented by aliens to cook meat taken from Mars for long journeys. This sounds absurd and, of course, I have made it up. Yet, this type of garbage is standard fare for Giorgio, an ex-bodybuilding promoter. Indeed, Giorgio’s line of work in self-promotion has served him far better than any real background in research.
He also calls himself a publisher and author, yet, as Jason Colavito has pointed out, Tsoukalos is a liar, and has done little to nothing of the sort. To top it all off, Tsoukalos is the Director of convicted con-artist Erich Von Daniken’s Center for Ancient Astronaut Research, or the A.A.S. R.A. – Archaeology, Astronautics, and SETI Research Association. Oh, how birds of a feather flock together.
The Crystal Skull Credibility Challenge
My favorite laugh in new age conspiracy/alien kookery is the infamous Crystal Skull. Since I was a kid, some people’s fascination with the object bemused me. I remembered thinking, “So what if some early Americans made a skull? It doesn’t do anything.” Hence, later on in life when I learned the skulls were frauds, I used their legacy as something of a barometer to test the credibility and intellectual integrity of crappy pseudo-scientists ever since.
So, let’s give Giorgio the “Crystal Skull Credibility Challenge.” In an episode of Ancient Aliens, he proclaimed.
“Sky Gods…sky people came here in the remote past with these crystal skulls in order to jump start our civilization. Which means they were brought here by extra-terrestrials?” He goes on to say about being ridiculed as a fantasist, “I think it’s about time that we reverse this way of thinking.”
First, according to history professor Philip Jenkins, crystal skulls were never a feature of any meso-American societies (indeed this a general view of practically all credible professional historians). Furthermore, there are no references to the veneration of crystal skulls anywhere in ancient America. Anthropologist Jane McLaren Walsh, at the Smithsonian, has stated Meso-American tools of the era were incapable of creating the objects. This may lead Ancient Aliens fans to get excited. However, McLaren Walsh believes the skulls to be fakes.
So, Giorgio, how did Meso Americans “jump start” our civilization exactly? Did the Mayan’s invade trade and intermarry with Europeans in ancient times? The answer to that is a resounding no. When they encountered the West, for all of their ingenuity, the only things we considered useful were their gold, tobacco and foodstuffs. Meso Americans had never seen horses; let alone blokes in armor with steel swords, spears and guns riding upon them.
Speaking of advanced aliens, if they gave the ancient Meso Americans crystal skulls, why did they source the crystal from Madagascar, Mexico, and Brazil? Surely, if they could cross space and time, crystal would be as common as plastic. I also have to ask why they used metal drills and grinders. How come the Sumerian’s (a culture Martell and Tsoukalos routinely mention with great excitement) never got them?
David Hatcher Childress: Crystal Skull Crackpot and Conspiracy Failure
Quite clearly, Giorgio has failed the test (it’s a pass in his world). So have others like his old pal David Hatcher Childress. Hatcher Childress would have to be one of the worst perpetrators of bull outside Alex Jones. In many ways, he is even more heinous as he mixes alien bilge (which Jones avoids) with areas of legitimate conspiracy research (which Jones fails at). He launches his attacks on credible researchers via his own hack publishing company Adventures Unlimited Press.
I have reviewed and destroyed two of Childress’ published books about JFK at CTKA. One of the interesting things about my review of his pal Joseph Farrell’s book was the flagrant lies, misquotes and plagiarism his book contained. Some months after I wrote the review, Jason Colavito noted much the same thing in Hatcher Childress’ own writings.
To make matters worse, Jim DiEugenio and I have even challenged him, his authors and supporters to a neutral moderated public debate. Hatcher Childress and his lads bravely ran away to snipe another day. Hence, I anticipated any number of cowardly attacks in the comments section from Tsoukalos and Childress fans after this article.
In denouncing these energetic frauds, I have to say that not all of the Ancient Aliens group are completely rudderless. Phil Coppens, a crystal skull man, has actually done some useful work on some generally undiscussed areas of the UFO phenomenon. However, he is a rarity in the field as he has actually done something useful. Sadly, his understanding of ancient history and his penchant for things like the crystal skull bring to mind the saying “one swallow does not make a summer”.
The History Channel: An Insincere Alternative
There have been many legitimate conspiracies throughout the span of human existence. We do not need to embellish, twist, or make up any of them as many of them are far worse than the fiction. One of the only History Channel offerings I bother watching is the historically strained, yet fun Vikings drama. The production values are high and the show is popular. The folks at History Channel are making stacks of cash; hence, there’s no excuse for not hiring top line researchers if they are truly serious about history.
Yet, the standards of research and the levels of balance in many of their documentary shows are strictly amateur. Why would I want to watch a program about secret societies when balanced folks like Alexandra Robbins are lumped in with Daniel Pipes and David Icke? The History Channel unashamedly backed the ludicrous “magic bullet theory” and in their bogus JFK special “Inside the Target Car”.
When it comes to shows like Ancient Aliens, the History Channel has let the lunatics run the asylum unopposed. Therefore, one cannot help but feel something deeper and uglier is going on. It sounds outrageous, and it goes against commonly held views for people with little or no knowledge of history.
Yet, it has such a bogus bottom line, it’s a rebellion going nowhere except the bank accounts of History Channel execs. Thus, anybody who thinks Ancient Aliens is a shot in the arm against the establishment is as deranged as Tsoukalos and Hatcher Childress.